Legacy

My time at my current position is quickly coming to an end, and with it, my state employment. In the past 2.5 years, I have worked to turn my little unit from a thorn in the side of our fiscal unit into a compliant, well-functioning model. I've worked hard to correct the less than stellar legacy my predecessor bestowed upon me, and I'm proud of all that I have accomplished. I have created a balanced budget to pass on to my successor and am content in the knowledge that I have worked hard to train her to the best of my ability.

I think it is safe to say that most people try to leave something better than they found it, notwithstanding our current presidential administration. However, what I have found difficult in these past few months of training my successor is how difficult it is to leave, knowing that your legacy is about to be completely destroyed. I can only imagine how President Obama felt when he saw the election results and realized that all he had built was about to be unraveled. My situation is nowhere near as nationally (or even locally) important; however, it’s still a tough pill to swallow. That’s not to say my successor is incapable or incompetent; however, I have felt the strength of her resistance to learn and comprehend all that I have trained her on because she simply has no desire to perform the work. She has stated, many times, that she was hired for a specific position and, truth be told, it is a position she is well-qualified for given her expansive experience in that particular area, and no other.

In addition to the headache that has been this unproductive training, I also find myself at the wrong end of what borders between obtuseness/tone deafness and outright condescension/rude behavior. A newer attorney we have recently hired has made it no secret that she thinks I am making a mistake, which likely serves her benefit more than mine as my area of expertise here more coincides with her position than that of my successor. I received an email from her recently that surmised that I would “miss the hustle” of my current position. This woman has known me all of 2 months and seems to falsely equate being good at one’s job with enjoying one’s job. I’m very good at what I do, but I’ve hated it for the last 2.5 years (which, coincidentally, falls within the timeframe I’ve been with this particular agency)! That said, her use of the word “hustle” to describe the grossly simplistic task she had asked me to perform was hilarious.

Suffice it to say, I am very much ready to move on from the so-called “hustle” and further my career. Even were I to find my new position boring, which I do not anticipate, the benefits of the federal government far outweigh anything the state could provide. Still, I do find myself a little sad to leave the administrative aspect of my position. I am truly proud of all that I accomplished in the short time I was in this position and I only wish that I could trust the legacy I leave behind would sustain my successor’s apathetic attitude.

On the bright side, I will be taking some time off between positions to relax and fully recuperate from the grueling schedule I followed during grad school. I have told my successor that I am available should she need me during that time, but honestly, I don’t know how available I will be. I need some time off to decompress and release some of the negativity that has been building in me since I first started working at this position and I think taking the time off to fully “cleanse my palate” so to speak before embarking on the next chapter in my career makes a lot of sense. I’m looking forward to spending some time with my daughter, cleaning the house, and resting!