Saturday, August 24, 2013

It will be as if he never existed...

I've deleted the Greek's number, blocked him from facebook, and deleted all of our texts as well as pictures I had saved in my phone. He came into my life as a whirlwind: unexpected, wreaking havoc all over my world. He left more subdued, but still with a fair amount of destruction.

He had said that in a month or so, when he was "over" me, he would like to try a friendship again. However, after seeing that he had removed me from facebook yesterday, I decided this was just something I didn't want. I don't want to know him anymore. If I delete him from my life, eventually, maybe the memories will fade with him, and it will be as if he never existed. My memory doesn't usually work that way, but I do tend to hold onto memories, both good and bad, through keeping things that remind me of things. I didn't really write much about the Greek in my private journal, which has served for years as my memory bank. It was like, even during the course of our relationship, I didn't want to commit the experience to memory. As if I knew from the beginning it wouldn't pan out the way he thought it would. I was right, but I know that may have also been a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This relationship was built on a lie, and I feel relieved that the lie has ended. It aids in my desire to put it out of my mind and to let go of the memories. It will be as if he never existed. It will be as if I never lived a lie.

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