After being overly frustrated by some of the responses I received from my MFA professors, I hired a developmental editor to get some feedback from someone actually well versed in romance. Overall, I think her comments and suggestions were helpful. She provided a really good way to ease readers' minds about the main premise of my book (single mom offers to rent room to stranger) and she had some great points about keeping my chapters in the POV of only the two romantic leads.
But then, she had like this vendetta against my portrayal of the teen character. To start off, let me say a few things about this character.
- She's heavily based on my own daughter (who knows this).
- She's a "new" teen, as in she recently became 13.
- She's not a sociopath
On that last note, let's begin. I had received feedback from one of my professors that the teen character seemed ageless in a way. She seemed mature in certain instances, younger in other, and I'm working on the consistency. Both the editor and MFA professor thought teens would be more indifferent to their parents' relationships, and I think I can lessen the involvement of this character by removing her POV. All of this is fine.
Where the developmental editor (DE) completely lost me is when she made comments about how the child "wouldn't care" if their parent was alone or not and that children are "not that perceptive or empathic." She went further to say "I actually think so often they forget their moms are human beings with wants and needs."
Look, I don't know what sociopathic children this person knows, but that's not my child, that's not my child's friends, that's not my friends' kids...literally that is almost no child/teen I have ever met. Are there exceptions? Sure! Does my kid sometimes get overly self-absorbed? Sure! Honestly, who doesn't (adult, teen, or child)???
I'm hoping that this is stemming from the fact that, because a few chapters are from the teen's POV, she seems a little too involved, and not because the DE actually thinks children are unfeeling robots so self-absorbed that they don't notice the world around them. But her comments just really rubbed me the wrong way. She said she felt like the teen would hate the male love interest from the get go, which I thought was a little weird since, even in the version of the book the DE received, the mom states in the beginning that she rents the room out to people all the time. So, the teen would be used to having someone staying there? I could see, as my MFA professor suggested, the teen being indifferent to the guest, but hate them? Why?
Of course, I did an immediate perception check on all of this with my own daughter and she was not only shocked by the stereotyping going on in the edits I received, but also seemed a little hurt. Interestingly, one of my goals with this book was to break the stereotype of the veteran with PTSD who is healed by the love of a good woman. Apparently, I am also breaking a stereotype that teens are, basically, sociopathic assholes. Who knew.
Some of the DE's problems with the teen that I took issue with included that she was:
- Excited for Christmas
- Excited for chocolate chip pancakes
- Looking forward to a shopping trip with her mom
- Enjoyed playing in the snow
Again, I think some of these things will seem less over-the-top when I remove the experiences from the teen's POV, but I just vehemently disagree with her characterizations of teens/kids in general. And as far as the view in pop culture, as a friend of mine asked "have these people never seen/heard of the Gilmore Girls?" There's an entire mother/daughter relationship where the daughter 1) has empathy, 2) cares about her mother a great deal, and 3) enjoys town events.
Additionally, my book is heavily influenced by Hallmark movies. Some of the criticisms I received were that the male romantic lead shouldn't take an interest at all in the teen. He should be polite to her, but his focus is on the female lead. First of all, even in real life, that's not necessarily the case. Using the Gilmore Girls, Lorelei dated Max, who was Rory's teacher at the time. There are arguments that can be made about this pairing, but it was done, so let's put those aside. Rory liked Max, both as a teacher and as a potential father figure. She actually suggested some things they could all do together, which scared Lorelei and she ran for the hills, but I digress. When dating someone with a kid, if the relationship is going to make it, at some point said kid is going to need to be included. Switching to my original point, this is a Hallmark story. Hallmark is VERY MUCH focused on "families." I watched a movie last night with one of the more self absorbed portrayals of a teen, and not only did that teen care about her mother's interest in the male lead, she also bonded with the male lead over cooking. In every Hallmark movie involving children, the romantic love interest BONDS WITH THE CHILD. Because in Hallmark movies, as in real life, a parent with a child is a packaged deal.
I will agree that perhaps the child is indifferent to the person in the beginning, but there needs to be some sort of bonding between the child and the romantic interest or there's no point in making one of the leads a single parent in a romance novel. I've seen it in countless movies. To list a few Hallmark ones: Summer Villa (which I watched last night), Christmas in Montana, Crashing Through the Snow, Delivered by Christmas, Love You Like Christmas, etc. Each of these movies had a kid/teen, and there is some sort of bonding that occurs between the romantic interest and the kid/teen. Again, if you don't allow them to bond, there's no point in having the kid/teen in the story. Period. Sure, they can serve as an obstacle to the relationship, too. Kid doesn't want a new parent in the mix. Kid wants parents to get back together. Caring for kid takes up all parent's time, leaving little availability for dating. Etc. etc. etc.
There were a few other comments that I disagreed with, and I'm still considering which suggestions I will incorporate and which I won't, but the way she wrote about kids/teens just really rubbed me the wrong way. While overall, I felt her advice was helpful, I don't know that I'd work with this person again, regardless of whether my future books include kids or not.
