My sister got married this past weekend. This is
significant because both of my siblings are gay and my sister is the first
lesbian to marry in our family. It is also significant because her wife was one
of the ones leading the fight for marriage equality, so she essentially made
their wedding day possible.
It was a beautiful ceremony and reception. The
brides are from Texas and Maryland respectively, so they decided to combine
cultures around the theme of “boots and boat shoes.” Much of the décor was
nautically related, but the band was a Texas inspired country band, complete
with cowboy outfits. They were married on a lovely waterfront property way down
in Southern Maryland, and the reception was held in a newly built barn. The
reception was a little cramped for my tastes, as it was a bit difficult to get
around, but not impossible.
The most poignant moment for me was when they had a
reading of the Oberfell v Hodges, the case that transformed “gay marriage” into
simply “marriage.” It was a beautifully written opinion and it truly pointed to
the hard work and dedication my new sister-in-law had put forth into bringing
this right around to her and my sister. It was more appropriate for their
wedding than any bible reading ever could be, though they had a few of those as
well.
My brother, as I said, is also gay and he actually
brought a date to the wedding as well. While it’s a bit too early in their
relationship to contemplate whether we’ll have another wedding in the near
future (and honestly, after my own wedding and my sister’s, I’m a little “weddinged”
out), it was still amazing to see my brother so proudly “out” to our family.
For the longest time, it was something that was known, but not spoken about. My
father was less than thrilled when Kevin first told us, though my father was
much more open to my sister and her wife when they first came out to him. But
my father sat comfortably at a table with not only my brother and his date, but
also my uncle and his husband, someone he used to detest when I was growing up.
I am so proud of how far my family has come in accepting my siblings for not
only who they truly are, but also who they love.
To me, the fight for marriage equality has always
been about love. We should not define who gets to officially declare their love
for someone and who does not. I hope that the fight for equality will continue
to other non-traditional relationships who want the right to marry the ones
they love.
“The history of marriage is one of both continuity
and change. Changes, such as the decline of arranged marriages and the
abandonment of the law of coverture, have worked deep transformations in the
structure of marriage, affecting aspects of marriage once viewed as essential.
These new insights have strengthened, not weakened, the institution. Changed
understandings of marriage are characteristic of a Nation where new dimensions
of freedom become apparent to new generations.” Oberfell v Hodges135
S. Ct. 2584 (2015)
