45 by 45

Back when I was completing my list of 30 things to do by the time I turned 30, I wrote that I wanted to make a new list of 45 things to complete by the time I was 45. I picked 45 because that was the age my mom was when she died and at the time, it dawned on me that when my mom turned 30, she only had 15 years of life left. It made me wonder if she could have gone back, with that knowledge, what would she have wanted to accomplish in the time she had left? She shared many regrets with me during her last few months. With that in mind, I made a list of 45 items, a sort of “bucket” list if you will.

Well, that was almost 6 years ago and up until this summer, I had completed all of one item on the list (we visited Mayan ruins on our honeymoon). So, when I started planning the trip to Maine, I looked over the list to determine what other items I could accomplish while we were there. I had originally set out to accomplish 3 things, but when my husband gave me the limitations for our trip, I had to cut out one (rock climbing) because we wouldn’t have time to go to Bar Harbor.

The two main items I was able to complete were whale watching and white water rafting. I do have visiting all 50 states on the list and my husband insisted we drive to Maine, so I was able to add a few New England states on our way, but I still have the entire west coast I have yet to visit. I looked at whale watching directly out of Portland, but I wasn’t thrilled with the reviews of the main company I found on tripadvisor, so I branched out a bit and found a company in Boothbay Harbor. It was probably a good thing we drove as we would have needed to rent a car to complete the two items on my list.

Whale watching, with Cap’n Fish’s Whale Watch, was first and we lucked out in finding a juvenile humpback. I didn’t get the greatest of pictures as I think the poor creature was trying to take a nap while we chased it around the ocean, but I did see it breach once. It was a wonderful experience, being that close to such a large and majestic animal. We also were able to see other wildlife while in Maine, not just on this tour. We saw sunfish, seals, porpoises, and a bald eagle. For one afternoon, we booked a private charter with Fogg’s Boatworks and that was when we were treated to an entire colony of seals on a rock in the bay. We watched them for a long time, taking countless pictures, but then as we were about to leave, a bald eagle landed on the island. Suddenly all the birds and seals took flight and left the eagle with an island to himself. I told Eric that it was like seeing National Geographic in action!

After we had our fill of Portland, we drove into the mountains to a little town called The Forks. We stayed at a really nice camping resort called Northern Outdoors which had cabins, a campground, and rooms above the lodge (which Eric enjoyed because the lodge included a craft brewery. I think that was his favorite part of the trip: all the beer!). We were able to go hiking soon after we arrived to a waterfall called Moxie Falls and then we retired to our room at the lodge for some R&R before our white water rafting trip the next day.

The next morning, we were up and dressed bright and early to head out on the river. None of us had been white water rafting before, so we were all a little nervous. Surprisingly, the river water was much warmer than I was expecting, which was good because not long after we got underway, Eric and half of the family we were paired with took an unintentional swim! Honestly, I think the worst part for me was carrying the raft down really steep stairs to the place we would put in the river. Ever since our orange cat attempted murder on me last October by tripping me down our stairs, I’ve been more than a little apprehensive of them. The river itself wasn’t bad, maybe up to a category 4 of rapids, but not higher than that. We had a lot of fun and were able to purchase pictures of our experience. Both Eric and the kiddo went swimming in the river once we passed the worst of the rapids (intentionally this time). Even though the water was warmer than I expected, it still wasn’t quite the temperature I prefer swimming in (I haven’t enjoyed swimming in cooler water since my trips to the Bahamas and Mexico, that’s the temperature I prefer).

After checking off these two items from my list, I started really looking into what I wanted to accomplish with this list again. At this point, I’ve got a little over 9 years before I hit 45, so I’m definitely thinking I need to start pursuing items with a vengeance! Unfortunately, some of the items will have to wait because I can’t take kiddo out of the country until she’s 18 (it’s a long story and an even longer court battle, so it’s really just not worth it). Some of the items are easier (performing in community theatre, learning to sail, learning to ski, and learning to ice skate), but others will require some planning. I don’t expect to finish everything by the time I hit 45 as the list is more meant as things to aspire to than actual goals, but the more I items I complete, the less regrets I’m likely to have, right?

A Ghostly Encounter

My family and I went to Portland, Maine this summer. It was the first vacation we've been able to take in 3 years due to my grad school schedule and starting as a PMF last summer, which impacted my ability to take time off. I planned out multiple days of fun including lots of boat rides, tours of the city, and a trip to the mountains for white water rafting.

One of the tours kiddo requested was a ghost tour. We've done one in Annapolis, and I've done them in St. Augustine as well. She's really gotten into ghosts and other supernatural things lately, which reminds me a lot of myself as a teen; however, she's not hanging around graveyards yet, so she's not quite up to my level of morbidity. 😉 She also likes to tease me about being wiccan (or a "witch" as she calls me), so I don't know that she'll ever fully be as weird as I was. She's only 12 though, so there's time!

The tour was called Wicked Walking Tours: A Comedy of Haunted History. I noticed that, unlike other tours I've been on, there was only one time per night for a tour and not as many options for tours during our time in Portland. After returning home, I did a bit of research and I think that is because our tour guide, Gordon, is also the owner of the company. This was the first of many differences that really made the tour stand out to me.

After checking in with Gordon, we sat around waiting for the tour to start. While we were waiting, I noticed Gordon kept glancing around at the group and then down at a sheet of paper. It dawned on me after watching him for a bit that he was trying to memorize our names. When he gathered us around to start the tour, he addressed each of us throughout his introduction, which I thought was a really nice touch.

Another difference I noted between the stories told on this tour and others was that not all of them were based solely in Portland. Often a story would actually begin somewhere else, and I found myself wondering why we were listening to a story about a shipwreck in North Carolina. However, Gordon always tied the story back to Portland and it made the tour more interesting.

The largest difference, and probably my favorite part of this tour, was that at the end of the night, Gordon asked if anyone had any stories to share. And here I want to discuss my one regret from this trip. I do have stories, or encounters to share; however, they involve my mother and I thought at the time that I didn't want to bring down the upbeat feeling of the tour. Even almost 17 years after the fact, it's difficult for me to think about, much less talk about my mother in any form: even the supernatural. So, I didn't share my story for two reasons: 1) because while my daughter is interested in anything ghost-related (she's a huge fan of those ghost hunter shows on tv), I was afraid that having a personal connection to a ghost story might freak her out; and 2) because I didn't think I could talk about it without getting emotional.

But here, under my pseudonym, I feel I can write about what happened. There were a couple of instances. Shortly after my mother died, my high school boyfriend was over at my house and we were, yet again, fighting. We had been trying to work on getting back together, but it wasn't going well. For a bit of a back story, my mother vehemently hated this guy, and would have probably rolled over in her grave at the mere suggestion I would get back together with him. However, my mother had a mischievous side and a great sense of humor. Anyway, at one point during the argument, he got so angry with me, he stormed out of my house and slammed the door. There is a hall closet at my childhood home. The door has never done this before nor has it happened since to my knowledge, but a few seconds after my ex slammed the door, the hall closet door flew open.

Now, logically, this could have been due to the sheer force of the front door slamming. The knob could have been loose from my dad removing his coat (he was not home during this incident). However, I like to think of it as my mom, with a twinkle in her eye, telling me that when one door closes (or slams) another one opens. . . in the literal sense.

There were a few other weird things that happened immediately following her death in that house, though I don't recall specifics beyond this incident. However, I feel sometimes that my mom comes back to visit me when I'm having a rough time. She died when I was only 19 and our relationship was strained, owing in part to my teenage angst. So, it's comforting to think, since I never got to experience the reconnecting phase after becoming an adult, that she comes back to check on me when I need guidance the most.

With that said, soon after I left my first husband and returned home with a baby, strange things began happening again. The most notable of incidents was one night at dinner, my sister and I were sitting at the table with kiddo in her booster seat. All of a sudden, the pitcher on the table slid from one side to the other on its own. No one was touching it and the table was completely level. It was also a glass pitcher full of tea, so it wasn't an empty pitcher pushed by (nonexistent) wind. According to my Facebook, it occurred in October of 2011, so it's possible the proximity to Halloween was involved. My sister saw it happen as well, so at least this time I felt a little less crazy.

I haven't had any additional strange occurrences as I haven't had as many hardships to face as I did in the years following my mom's passing. My father also sold our childhood home, so if the house itself is haunted (by my mom or another spirit), I will likely never know.

Even though I wasn't able to share my story with the group, I really appreciate that Wicked Walking Tours allows time for this at the end. I imagine they receive many chilling tales from tour guests and I've seen some of them recounted on the Facebook page. I think taking this time to hear from guests about their experience really adds a unique quality to this tour and it makes it my favorite of the tours I've been on thus far. I really enjoyed listening to Gordon, not just for the stories, but also for his performance as well. If he's not into acting, he really should be because he's very talented. If we're ever back in Portland, I would take this tour again and maybe by that point, I will be able to keep my emotions in check to share my experiences with the group.